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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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For any additional help, questions about the Agreement for Mutual Respect (Prenuptial Agreement), post-nuptial events and agreements, speaking engagement requests or any of our programming, write to our helpline.
GET Refusal and Agunah Prevention Helpline
ARTICLES & RESOURCES
Articles
jewishprenup.org
The Tripartite Agreement for the prevention of the “classic” agunah.
facebook.com
Join the facebook group to access the community.
theprenup.org
The Beth Din of America’s “halachic prenup” - for use in the US.
getyourget.com
For more in-depth information and help receiving your Get, visit getyourget.com.
Rabbi Simcha Krauss – “If the Jewish Community Doesn’t Feel the Pain…”
Rachel Levmore, The Times of Isreal.
Agunah Day as the aftermath of war
Rachel Levmore, The Jerusalem Post.
“Agunot: Follow These Instructions”, The Jewish Press, March 10, 2022, p. 11.
Rachel Levmore, The Jewish Press
“International Agunah Day for Those in the Diaspora”, Times of Israel, March 15, 2022,
Rachel Levmore, The Times of Isreal
“Wartime Agunot”, The Jerusalem Post, 17.3.24
Rachel Levmore, The Jerusalem Post
‘Preventing “Wartime Agunot” in the Knesset’, 19.3.24
Rachel Levmore, The Times of Isreal
Videos
Postnuptial Signing (Event) – Personal invitation and an Overview | July 17, 2017
Rabbi Chaim Wasserman & Dr. Rachel Levmore on Prenuptial Agreements for the Prevention of Get-Refusal, December 21, 2021
Rachel Levmore, “Prenup=Prepared” webinar, 23.2.20
Dr. Rachel Levmore & Rabbi Simcha Krauss – IYIM International Agunah Day Event, March 8, 2014
Avi Abelow– Interview with Dr. Rachel Levmore on Postnuptial Agreements, September 5, 2017
Rachel Levmore “The Tripartite Agreement: A Conditional Marriage; an Authorization to Give a “Get”; a Communal Ordinance to Void a Marriage”, International Conference in memory of Rabbi Prof. Eliezer Berkovits, Shalem College, Sept. 12, 2022
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
By biblical Law, a Jewish writ of divorce, a get, must be given from the husband’s free will to the wife. By Rabbinic law, the wife must also agree to accept the divorce. Therefore a divorce can only occur today when both parties agree to it. Whoever is being sued for divorce has the upper hand–as he or she can name their price or even simply refuse to divorce in accordance with Jewish Law. Not even a Rabbinical court can change the parties’ status to divorced if the two of them don’t do it themselves.
Both in North America and in Israel there is a prenuptial agreement for the prevention of get-refusal available on the internet for use. In the US it is provided by the Rabbinical Council of America, while in Israel it is called the Agreement for Mutual Respect (in Hebrew: Heskem l’Kavod Hadadi) and posted on this site.
Prenuptial
| It is a financial agreement signed before marriage, governing issues of money and property between the couple. Recently, prenuptial agreements have been developed expressly for the purpose of preventing get refusal. |
| Postnuptial | It is a financial agreement signed after marriage governing what happens should the couple wish to divorce. The Postnup Party agreement is presented expressly for the purpose of preventing get refusal. |
| Prenuptial & Postnuptial | The Ketubah was introduced to address the pressing social needs of the past. It was designed to protect a woman from being divorced against her will and to secure her economically. The contemporary prenuptial Agreement for Mutual Respect supplements the Ketubah and is designed to address current pressing social needs that arise from a spouse’s refusal to grant a get. |
Prenuptial & Postnuptial:
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Prenuptial | The agreement prevents cases of get refusal, protecting both the husband and the wife, thus building a strong foundation of trust between the spouses. |
Postnuptial | Signing a postnuptial agreement for the prevention of get-refusal is the most effective educational tool one can provide for the next generation – to teach them how to establish a responsible, healthy Jewish family unit. |
It is a combination of a monetary agreement with a deadline–it is not a get. As a sign of mutual respect both the groom and the bride take on a monetary obligation to support the other, at a high level of spousal support, under certain conditions. Those conditions are those of get-refusal after a six to nine month interim period. During that period, the couple sees the future monetary obligation looming which convinces them to talk to each other in a dignified fashion and come to an agreement through negotiations. There is also a clause providing for marital therapy. All together, the monetary incentive brings the couple to some sort of agreement–either to divorce or to reconcile. Any attempts at setting a price for the get or extortion become meaningless, as the recalcitrant party realizes very quickly that he is in for a monetary loss as opposed to a gain.
“Money Talks”. His own lawyer would recommend that he settle as quickly as possible, before the six month deadline.
Prenuptial | The agreement conforms to both civil and religious law. It must be signed in the presence of a recognized authority in accordance with local laws. In Israel, the couple can choose to sign before a civil court or a religious court (Beit Din), a local marriage registrar, or a notary. Experience has shown that the notary is the most efficient and expeditious way. |
Postnuptial | To give civil legal validity to the document for married couples, Israeli civil law may require that it be signed before one of two courts: The civil Family Court or the Rabbinic Court. In order to grant the document halakhic validity to the greatest possible degree when not signed before a Rabbinic Court, signing should take place before two kosher witnesses with a kinyan |
The postnuptial agreement differs from the prenuptial agreement at the point of its signing. There is a dispute of legal opinions as to whether the postnuptial agreement, in its version to be signed at the Postnuptial signing Event, gains legal validity by the two spouses simply signing it, or whether the spouse must sign in the presence of a judge in the civil Family Court to gain legal validity, Neither the prenup nor the postnup have ever been challenged in any court so we don’t know which legal opinion is correct. If one wants to ensure that there will be absolutely no dispute in the future as to the legal validity of the postnup in the future, then one should take the postnup to be given the power of a ruling of the civil Family Court and sign before the judge there.
Prenuptial | It safeguards the financial rights of both partners in accordance with Israeli law. | |
Prenuptial & Postnuptial | It conveys the message, and in real-time actually convinces the couple, that when a divorce becomes necessary, the couple will enter into and conduct divorce proceedings with dignity and respect. |
Prenuptial & Postnuptial |
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Prenuptial & Postnuptial |
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Postnuptial | The idea of signing a postnuptial agreement is relatively new — it has not yet been tested. However, there is every reason to believe it will be as effective as the prenuptial agreement. |
Prenuptial & Postnuptial |
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Prenuptial & Postnuptial |
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Prenuptial & Postnuptial | Many prominent Rabbis support signing of the agreement including:
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Prenuptial & Postnuptial | Yes. Some Rabbis believe that the agreement can cause a Get Meusa – a coerced Get, which is not valid. For this reason, the daily sum of money committed by each side is to pay the mezonot or financial support which must be provided when one is married. Thus the sum is NOT a penalty or a punishment, rather the outcome of not giving or receiving the Get and therefore remaining married. Some Rabbis believe that the agreement makes it simpler and easier to divorce. For this reason, the agreement stipulates that the couple must go for counseling first and attempt to reconcile — Shalom Bayit – before divorcing, if one of the spouses requests it. Some Rabbis believe that innovations are inherently in contradiction with Halakha. Unfortunately, the rising divorce rates are creating more incidents of get refusal and require a Halakhic solution. The plight of those refused a Get is too painful to not consider signing an agreement to protect both parties from unnecessary anguish. |
In order for the agreement to be valid in a legal sense in Israel it can be signed in front of one of four authorities. The two simplest methods are signing before the Marriage registrar in the local religious Council where the couple registers for marriage or secondly, at a NOTARY. One can choose a notary–which is a completely autonomous decision and completely private. After signing, the agreement is put away by both parties, hopefully never to be used. The Rabbinical Council of America in the US passed a resolution that no member rabbi may officiate at a wedding where the prenuptial agreement was not signed. In Israel, there are some rabbis who believe the same, some rabbis who are willing to go along with the couple’s interest in signing and some rabbis who have never bothered learning the issue in depth. In any case, as previously explained, one does not have to involve his rabbi if one does not want to.
The first theme should be ideological. There is a need to correct a terrible problem that plagues Jewish society. You are not going to divorce. However, if you lead by example, then your cousin will sign, and his neighbor, etc, until all will sign. So that all of the 30% of couples who do get divorced will be “innoculated” against the virus of get-refusal. It is a once-in-a lifetime opportunity for you to participate in a tikkun olam.
Secondly, each individual benefits from a type of personal insurance. Just as we put on seat belts to minimize collateral damage in case of an accident — even though we are sure that we will not cause an accident– so too, even though we are sure that we will not divorce, we will put the agreement in place to insure that we always treat each other with mutual respect–even in a crisis. In fact, this is the most romantic step a fiancé can take–he is saying to his bride: I love you so much that I want to protect you from any harm which may befall you, I want to protect you even from myself.
The easiest thing to do when still single is to join one of the facebook groups (linked below) so when someone suggests a possible date for you and he or she goes into Facebook to check you out- he will immediately see that you are a member of (for example) “save the whales”, and an environmental group and The Halakhic prenuptial Agreement for Mutual Respect. That way, when you do become engaged it will not be taken personally, rather he knew all along that you were a believer for ideological reasons and it will be obvious that you both will sign The Agreement for Mutual Respect.
Please note for your information that the composers of the prenuptial agreement cannot take upon themselves legal or halachic (Jewish legal) responsibility for the phrasing and text of the agreement or for its validity. Rabbinic and Halachic authority and/or legal authority (an attorney), of your choosing, should be consulted in order to obtain appropriate counsel and advice.
